My Slow Awakening

Yesterday at 1:30 PM, I was excited to do something I have seriously considered doing for the past four years: apply for the open seat on the Palos Verdes Unified School District Governing Board. With my application in hand, I arrived at the Superintendent's Office.

Read Erin4PV Application

The door was locked, with a sign, "Be back at 2:15." As I sat down to wait for the door to open, I looked at my phone to read the news,

"Charlie Kirk shot and killed at Utah event; manhunt for shooter still ongoing."

Instead of celebrating a milestone moment of throwing my hat in the ring, I spent most of the day brokenhearted as I replayed the horrific scene of the assassination of Charlie Kirk at Utah Valley University. In one video, an overweight, white, liberal young man stepped up to the microphone, asked Charlie Kirk, "Do you know how many mass shootings there have been in America in the last ten years?" Charlie responded, "Counting gang violence or not counting gang violence?" And those were his last words as the trained assassin's bullet pierced Charlie Kirk's carotid artery.

I wondered, "Was the question and timing orchestrated to shoot him at that exact moment?"

As I read through the social media feeds, I saw people mourning, and then, more disturbingly, I saw what appeared to be people celebrating the assassination of Charlie Kirk. I watched Don Lemon spin the narrative as if the assassination of Charlie Kirk should serve as a wake-up call for Trump and the Republican Party. And, the Democrats used Charlie's death to chant, "Gun Control."

I felt sick to my stomach as I continued to digest all that I saw yesterday.

A spiritual teacher of mine always said,

"When we feel triggered, that is an opportunity for healing and growth."

And, so I feel compelled to confess in the spirit of healing, in 2016, I was a full-blown libtard with a severe case of Trump Derangement Syndrome. I hated Donald Trump.

My hatred felt justified, and I defended my hatred with questions like,

Shouldn't we hate Hitler?

Or Stalin? Or Mao Zedong?

Who doesn't hate evil dictators?"

I didn't know at the time that I was under the mind control of the left-wing propaganda. I listened to BBC, NPR, CNN, MSNBC, and, I confess, The View and Don Lemon. And then slowly, I began to experience a turning point where I realized, "They were wrong."

One day, in 2019, I posted on Facebook an NPR article, "Virginia Study Finds Increased School Bullying In Areas That Voted For Trump." All of my Trump-hating Facebook friends hearted the post and cheered me on for feeding the microchamber of Trump hatred, except for one friend, who just asked me a question.

"Who is being bullied?"

That question got to me, so I began to research more. What I discovered that day shocked me because it challenged my pre-conditioned biases. And, without trying to prove me wrong, my friend, just by asking me a question I couldn't answer, taught me a lot that day about everything I did not know.

I found story after story:

"82-year-old man attacked for wearing a MAGA hat."

Nine Year OLD BANNED FROM SCHOOL OVER TRUMP HAT

"A 77-year-old was attacked for wearing a Trump HAT!"

As I became more open to hearing another point of view, more and more people confided in me. Then a Mom told me, "The yearbook committee at Pen put my son on a 'You're Dead to Me list!'" What was his crime? - He wore a MAGA hat to school.

I realized I had no justification in my hatred towards Trump or anyone because, at my core, the very foundation of my being, I believe in love. I felt extreme guilt and shame for unknowingly feeding into the microchamber of hate that was causing serious harm, especially to Christian Conservative Kids.

Slowly, I began to challenge all of my pre-existing beliefs and dived into the history archives. And then my full-blown awakening happened when the world shut down. I refused to stay locked up at home.

One day, I posted a picture on Facebook of me just walking outside in nature in the middle of a pandemic on the trails that were closed.

Eating Mustard Flowers - Great for The Immune System

Lifelong liberal friends of mine sent me messages attempting to shame me into submission,

"How dare you go outside! Why are you smiling? Don't you know people are dying?"

And others demanded of me,

"Stay HOME! Save lives."

As I was on the receiving end of messages filled with vitriol, public shaming, and demands for me to follow orders, and some psychotic belief that suddenly I was a Grandma Killer, I began to question what it meant to be a liberal because I thought it meant "willing to respect or accept behavior or opinions different from one's own - freedom."

As I realized my liberal friends wanted to control me and everyone under the guise of safety, I had a turning point. And then a really unexpected event shifted my perception of reality when, in April of 2020, Trump said, "Every state is very different." "They are all beautiful. We love them all, but they are very, very different. If they need to remain closed, we will allow them to do that. And if they believe it's time to reopen, we will provide them the freedom and guidance to accomplish that task and very, very quickly, depending on what they want to do." I thought,

"Typically, evil dictators don't say, hey, beautiful! Do what you need to do. Believe what you believe."

I began to listen to what the MAGA movement is about. After talking to people and learning about their vision for America, I realized I had more in common with the MAGA movement than the liberals screaming at me, "Wear a mask." I share with you where I was in 2016 with the intention to inspire you to be like my friend. When people say outrageous things, lovingly ask them a question and help them to think.

I began to seek out new sources of information. It was then that I found Charlie Kirk and started listening to "Turning Point USA."

Charlie Kirk was a Christian and a proud Patriot. At just 18, Charlie Kirk answered a call and began his mission of "RECLAIMING the education of our children, REVIVING virtuous education focused on truth, goodness, and beauty, and RESTORING God as the foundation of education." From Charlie Kirk's podcast, I learned a great deal about history, the foundation of America, and economics. I also studied Charlie to try to learn how to stay calm in the midst of a heated debate with hecklers. When asked about what he does, Charlie said,

I go around to Universities and have challenging conversations with people.

In just thirteen years, Charlie Kirk gained 7 million followers on Instagram, 7.4 million followers on TikTok, and started 850 Turning Point chapters on college campuses across the United States. Kirk began the American Comeback Revolution and was a major player in securing a second term for Donald Trump. Kirk was self-educated. He devoured books on politics, theology, and the Bible. In 2020, Turning Point USA had $39.2 million in revenues. Kirk earned a salary of more than $325,000 from TPUSA and related organizations. In 2021, TPUSA announced an online academy targeted towards students in schools, "poisoning our youth with anti-American ideas."

Charlie Kirk not only encouraged public debates but also made them entertaining with the invitation slogan,

"Prove me wrong."

Turning Point advertised by inviting everyone to have an open dialogue by posting,

"Join Charlie Kirk on campus for a lively discussion of Freedom & America! Don't agree with Charlie? Great, you go to the front of the line. See you there!"

Not long before he was assassinated, Charlie Kirk said,

"The core of the left, at the core of a liberal, is someone who would use the sword if they had it. They are very violent people at their core. They always have been. They can't debate. They can't have conversations. So they will resort to these tactics. They're gonna do everything they possibly can to try to murder this movement because they can't beat us, so they're going to try to take weapons. And we're very aware of it. I am aware of it. We have to have full-time security. This is not a joke. This is who these people are."

I disagree with Charlie that all liberals are violent - many are vegetarians who won't even swat at a fly. But I can understand where he's coming from because I experienced some of those people radicalized by hate who attacked me for simply sharing a different point of view.

The beauty of America is that we don't have to agree with everything Charlie said, or Trump, or really anyone. But as a matter of law, we must have civil discourse on the issues of public concern. And that was what the radical extremists couldn't stand - Charlie was gaining more and more momentum and was on his way to becoming President. Still, he was too young to run, at only 31, his life was cut short because there are evil people who will, as Charlie said, "Do everything they possibly can to murder this movement."

Yesterday, a Prophet, a Father, a Husband, and the creator of a movement was murdered. I have faith that Charlie's 7.4 million followers will pick up where Charlie left off and continue the unstoppable movement to "engage, equip, and empower millions of grateful Americans who are prepared to defend our God-given rights, by giving them the tools to expose lies and articulate the connection between Faith and Freedom," also known as The Great American Comeback.